Pain is that all u get...

Chloe, a soft hearted American girl had an angelic persona with a small soft little voice. Being obese all her life, she had suffered from a number of physical ailments. Having a troubled adolescence and a shy youth, she struggled to establish her identity. Yet, she helped everyone who came her way.

That day, she had gone to her office's hardware vendor's office. She met a young Indian boy, Shekhar who had just been promoted as a sales executive. As a part of the negotiation process, they had to meet regularly. One day Prakash looked much tensed. When Chloe enquired, he told her that his visa was going to expire in next 10 days, and he had no ways to extend the visa. He told her that he had a poor family back in India and that he needed to stay in the US to make a living. He cried in front of her like a child.

That night Chloe could not sleep. How could she help Prakash? She thought about everyone back in his home - his parents, his brother and his grandparents. He had such a large family to support. By the morning, Chloe knew what she had to do. She went to Prakash's office, and told him that she would marry him, so that his visa could get extended. Prakash almost fell to her feet. He expressed his gratitude to her and promised her that he would love her and care for her all her life. It will not be a paper marriage, he will marry her in honesty and fulfill the marriage all his life. Chloe was taken aback. She was not prepared to give away her heart and herself to Prakash yet. Foe next couple of days they met regularly, and her heart opened up to Prakash.

When Chloe told her parents about her decision, they opposed it. They didnot trust Prakash enough; but Chloe was determined to help Prakash and deep within her hearts she had started loving him too. Prakash and Chloe got married; and Prakash got a permanent stay in US. Chloe shifted in Prakash's one room modest apartment. She did everything she could do, to adjust with him. Prakash was also very loving towards her. With Chloe's help, Prakash sponsored his younger brother Amit to US as well. When Amit shifted to US, he stayed with Chloe and Prakash in their one room apartment. Chloe heartily accepted him and welcomed him. Chloe had started cooking Indian dishes and was fast learning Indian culture and mannerisms as well. Meanwhile due to obesity, Chloe had two miscarriages; but Prakash supported her all the way. Somewhere deep within her heart, Chloe knew that Prakash was her soul mate and that she could not survive without him. Prakash, Chloe and Amit worked very hard; saved money and moved to a larger home.

Life moved on and all three of them flourished. Within few years Prakash got permanent residency in the US. And after a span of seven to eight years, Prakash came back home. Chloe felt empty within. Prakash had gone for only a month; but each day passed as a year. When Prakash came back from India he was not his usual self for the first few days. He had picked up a fancy for alcohol and his calls to India started getting frequent and long. Chloe understood that it was the bonding that Prakash had with family and friends back there in India. She urged him to call his parents in the US, unaware of the fact that with every such move she was moving towards a disaster.

When Prakash's parents came over, Chloe touched their feet like an Indian bahu. And why not? She was loved Prakash so much that she followed him blindfolded. Nothing could ever change her love for him. She cooked for them and did everything possible to make them accept her. They accepted her, but not very heartily. Their sons were basking in wealth and success, and they found Chloe's obese frame as a scene spoiler. Prakash's brother got married to an Indian girl Priti, who instantly became an apple of their eyes. The only odd person out was Chloe now. They had everything they wanted - permanent stay in US, wealth and fame. Chloe herself had amassed ample wealth; but Prakash's parents wanted to see Prakash's child; which Chloe was unable to give. Every time she conceived, her obesity came in way, and caused miscarriages. With every miscarriage, Chloe's position became difficult. Prakash's parents pressurized him to leave her. She could see their rejection; but worst was Prakash's deteriorating behavior. He would get drunk, cause embarrassment to her, and lie to her. Painfully she was looking at her love drifting away from her. She knew something was brewing amongst them. Even though they talked in their own language but she could gauge the vibes coming from their behavior. More so she could see Prakash's turned eyes...he would come late from office, argue over minor issues, and ignore her completely. At nights when Prakash talked to his friends in other room, Chloe would cry silently. She would hold her cat Molly and cry for hours. She had no one except Prakash in her life...how could she let go of him? She knew she could not hurt him either. But he had gone too far from her.

Then the dooms day came, when Prakash announced that he wanted a divorce. Chloe pleaded to him to not to leave her; but he had made up his mind. She talked to his parents but futile. His brother Amit supported Prakash only. Chloe was left deserted. She shifted back in their one room apartment. Within fifteen days of filing for divorce, Prakash went to India to get married again.
Life became unbearable for Chloe. She felt used. She felt like a piece of trash; pain and hurt was too much for her to handle. In her last attempt to get back her life and love, she contacted few of Prakash's relative back in India. She pleaded for help; no one helped her out. Prakash had become influential in India now, and above all it was his personal decision. The day Prakash got married; Chloe decided she will not live without him. She shot herself.

I am unfortunately one of those of Prakash's relatives who got SOS mails from Chloe but who attended Prakash's second marraige as well. I am ashamed that I know him and am related to him. I can still feel her pain...the betrayal she had to go through. Chloe I am so sorry I could not do anything to help u out. I know I don't deserve to be forgiven that I was a mute spectator to your pain and suffering.

Real love is letting a person be what he/she really is...

Naina had seen her parents as a couple...well she was an observant child..she saw her mother give up her career, health, and personal likings for her dad...Naina's dad always followed his heart, and her mother followed him. To some extent Naina was fine with it, but whenever she saw her mom hurt with someone that dad said or did, she resented him. But everytime her mother would say, "Its ok dear. I have to adapt myself as per him."

Naina grew up and got married to the guy of her parents' choice. She went in a joint family and from the first day she was forced to change herself....they started by changing her maiden name to Ritu. And then Naina's ordeal started. They expected her to wake up at times they got up, give up what they wanted her to give up, take up habits that they wanted her to take up, sit and stand as per their wishes, eat what they wanted her to eat, and worst of all meet her parents when they wanted her to meet. Naina was often taunted for her plain looks. Ten months after her wedding Naina was blessed with a daughter. Naina's mom-in-law made sure that little one was kept away from Naina. The little girl often cried for her mother, but Naina was not allowed to hold her child, till she completed her work. Naina felt claustrophobic but had no place to run. Her husband, Shekhar, understood her plight but was reluctant to take a stand for her.
Years went by and to their satisfaction Naina changed...her smile was gone, her beauty and youth gone, face lost all the shine and became dull, and she suffered from hypertension and depression. Yet her husband always expressed his love for her, even though the expression of love lasted not more than half an hour in night on weekly basis..

Then something happened that stirred Naina from her deep sleep. Well it so happened that one day Naina found a mid aged handsome man on her door. Naina came to know that he was Sagar, her husband's distant cousin. Naina's mom-in-law told her that he would stay with them for sometime as he had just returned from abroad and had yet not been alotted an official residence by his company. She curtly instructed Naina, "He is our guest. See to it that he is properly taken care of...and ask ur parents to not visit us for some days. Well he is a rich guy and might not find your parents presentable." Anger boiled inside Naina, but she couldnot say anything...knew it was futile. Her mom-in-law had done the damage she wanted to...and despite Naina's retorting back, her parents respect and dignity couldnot be restored.

That day when she was formally introduced to Sagar her mom-in-law said, "She is Ritu, our daughter in law...well earlier her name was Naina but we changed to Ritu."

When Naina served lunch Sagar called aloud, "Naina, come over. Join us all for lunch." Listening her own name after so many days made Naina jerk. And how could she join them for lunch...she always had lunch alone after serving food to everyone. She politely asked him to start and promised that she would join later, but he was adamant. Said he would wait. upon hearing this Shikha (shekhar's sister) reluctantly came over in kitchen and Naina hesitantly joined the whole family on the lunch table. That night when Naina lied down, she could hear the name Naina ringing in her ears. How much had she lost!! Even her own name and identity.

Sagar always called her Naina; he was perhaps the first person in the family who asked her about her passions. She told him about her love for music, and later that day Sagar shared his music CDs with her. He gave her his CD player to listen to, while she was working in the kitchen.

Music came as a blessing to Naina. She would listen to music while doing her household chores. Suddenly she found that she was relatively happier and seldom thought about negativities of her life. Her mother in law protested to her using Sagar’s CD player, but Sagar insisted that he had brought it for Naina only and that the CD player now belonged to Naina. He looked as good as an angel to her. Shekhar too observed that Naina was happy...but he mistook her happiness as her attraction towards Sagar and taunted her on the same. Naina could see the vaccum of their relationship...all these years she was in depression he husband trusted her and one day she decided to be happy he got insecure...guess he did not trust himself enough, she thought.

One day Shekhar came back home with a print out in his hand. It was his appraisal form, and he wanted to fill it out with Sagar's help. While working on the appraisal form, they were struggling to find right words. Naina was just passing by, and prompted them with a phrase that befitted their requirement. Sagar was surprised with her ability to find just the right words to express complex ideas. Next day, Sagar brought a laptop home and gave it to Naina. He told her that he had purchased a new laptop and she could have the older one. Naina could see it was a used laptop and was assured that he was telling the truth.

Then started Naina's relationship with computer. She would finish off her houshold chores quickly and get on with exploring the PC. Sagar gave her few topics to write on, and after three-four revisions the write up was as good as to be published. Naina's health started improving, as she experienced an influx of energy and positivism in herself. Encouraged by Sagar, Naina took up work from home opportunity for writers. Within few months, Naina had tie ups with numerous firms within the city. After so many years, Naina felt she was alive. Its not that her family had changed - they were the same- who resisted improvements in her, always ready to deflate her spirit and enthusiasm. But now Naina had changed. She had risen from her comatoseness.

Shekhar always felt that there was something more than friendship between Naina and Sagar. But now Naina didnot care. Her priorities had changed. She recognized that she had a responsibility not only towards her family, but herself too. To some extent, she herself was also responsible for losing herself. Now that she found herself, she will not let go. Sagar, to Naina, would always be a guiding angel...who will always hold the place of a mentor in her heart.

Naina's homecoming

They could hear footsteps following them in the dark galley. The moment Shekhar stepped out of the cinema hall after the late show; he was repenting his decision to do so. Unable to find a cab, they started on foot and took the route via a dark and lonely road. And now someone was following them....Too scared, Shekhar didn't even look back. Calculating that the people following them must be two or three, he quickened his steps pulling his two companions, his wife Naina and his younger sister Shikha.

Naina was so scared that she could hardly breathe. It was dark, and she held Shekhar's hands very tightly. She knew Shikha had also done the same. Suddenly four men pounced on them. They had targeted Shikha. They were trying to pull her into their van. Shekhar tried to save Shikha and Naina was shouting for help…There were few houses in that galley but no body even bothered to look outside, let alone open their doors and help them.

Suddenly one of them hit Shekhar with a rod on the back of his head. He lost his balance and fell on ground...watching helplessly as his sister was being molested by attackers. Naina ran up to those guys to offer her jewellery instead. They hit Naina to push her aside. Exasperated she asked what they really wanted...one of them said a woman. Hearing their words, Shikha started howling…she frantically tried to free herself and then she started calling Naina "Bhabhee, please help me…don’t let them take me away. I beg you, they will kill me. "

Naina was stunned. She begged them to leave Shikha, but they kept on pulling her into their van. Desperate Naina looked upto Shekhar for help, but he was too injured to help. She realized that she had to do something to save Shikha. She had to be saved, otherwise she would lead all her life scarred by this incident; and then who knows, whether she will ever get married. Naina drew a deep breath...glanced back at injured Shekhar, and told them to take her along instead of Shikha. Those guys gave quizzing look to each other. Shrugging they left Shikha, and took her along in their van.

For the next few hours, Naina was raped repeatedly. All the time she kept telling herself that they have her body, and not her heart and soul, and above all she is doing it for her love her Shekhar...and the honour of his family. Tired, beaten and battered she lost consciousness.

When she woke up, she found herself in a filthy room of a semi built building. Tears rolled from her eyes as she tried to get up, but she staggered every time she tried to do so. Gathering every bit of her courage and strength, she got up and dragged herself out the building. It was early morning now. Bleeding very badly, she managed to reach the main road. Cars swooshed by, but no one bothered to stop. She walked a little distance, and then fell down losing balance.

A car stopped by, and an elderly couple got down. Naina could see two blurred faces looking down to her and discussing whether she should be taken to the hospital. Eventually they called the Police and took her to the hospital. When Naina gained consciousness, the cops had come over for the enquiry. Naina reported the entire episode to them. She requested the Police inspector to inform her husband about her whereabouts. He promised to do the same and left.

Naina was in a bad shape. Her body was battered, and her soul was completely bruised. Tears would not stop, and every time she closed her eyes she would see the faces of the rapists... they had turned her life upside down. The elderly couple who brought her to hospital turned out to be real angels; they were always there by her side to take care of her. They took care of her as if she was their own daughter. But Naina was eagerly waiting for Shekhar. She knew he will rush to the hospital once he hears about her...but somehow there was no sign of Shekhar. She kept wondering "Why didn't he come over? He must have got hurt very badly."

She spent next few days in the hospital, recuperating from the physical and mental injuries that she sustained from the incident. The only solace she got was from the thought that she saved Shikha. Naina promised herself that she wouldn't ever let Shikha feel responsible for this mishap. All these years Naina had loved Shikha like her own daughter; and any mother would do the same for her daughter.

After much counseling from the doctors and the elderly couple she prepared herself to start her life anew. She knew she had Shekhar with her. They would soon leave the dark memories of that fateful day behind, and start a new phase of life.

When she was discharged from hospital, the elderly couple gave her the lift back home. The moment she saw her home, her spirits lifted but her eyes dampened. With tears rolling down her cheeks, she silently pressed the hands of her savior angels to thank them for their care and help, and entered the gate of her home.

She knocked the door. Shikha opened the door. With tears in her eyes Naina opened her arms out to her, but found Shikha turn her back at her. Without letting her in, Shikha called Shekhar. Naina was relieved to see Shekhar in a fine condition. When Shekhar came over, Naina rushed towards him. But he stretched out his hand, stopping her from entering the home. Naina was aghast. She realized that she was no longer welcome in Shekhar’s home and life.

Before she could apprehend anything...Shikha slammed the door at her face. Naina stood there still. She could feel the world spinning around her.